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While grief is a universal experience, everyone's grief is as unique as a fingerprint, experts say. But the more you know, the better you can support a grieving person. “It’s not, ‘one helping thing will fit everybody,’” says grief specialist Angie Cartwright. Show up early and reach out in person if possible, says Alan Wolfelt, director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. “Don’t assume that they have lots of friends and family members at their side in the immediate aftermath of a loss....” Listening is the best thing you can do. “We love giving advice, and we love fixing people, but people in grief don’t need to be fixed because they’re not broken,” says David Kessler, author of Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Instead, consider offering help - drop off food, offer to babysit, load the dishwasher or even cut the grass. “We don’t resolve grief,” says Wolfelt. “We don’t get you back to an old you. You’re transformed.” He added: “I always say closure is for windows and doors. It’s not for grief.”
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