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When we avoid exploring feelings that trigger uncomfortable bodily sensations, we often cause physical and mental suffering for ourselves, says psychologist Sandra Parker. But when we slow down and feel our bodies, we are able to see such moments of “unrest” as anxiety, not fear. “This is one of the hardest things for chronically anxious people to accept: that their worry is a story, a prediction, a possibility, but it is not danger.” Embracing unrest is about changing your way of being with yourself when you don’t feel good, so that your body understands that there is no danger and thus lets sadness come through. This can enhance your relationships and lead to higher levels of resilience and authenticity. “You are not meant to detach, numb out, avoid, and distract from the pain and beauty of life,” she says. “You are meant to care deeply without clinging, controlling, or being overwhelmed. Your vulnerability is your strength, and it will grow you.”
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